First, I talked to your doctor. She’s a wonderful lady and we’ve agreed that you need to heal from this naturally. No more painkillers for you. Of course, when you’re back at school, you’ll be cleaning all of the toilets again. In your absence, they’ve gotten absolutely disgusting. The portable toilets by the football field are extra disgusting after all the chili we’ve been serving for lunch lately. Last but not least, some of the cheerleaders and female staff members want to come visit you later! They’ve missed seeing you and just want to check up on you. Of course, they’ll be taking photos and videos of you to share with the rest of the school that can’t make it in to see you. We wouldn’t want anyone to miss this!

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